


husband dearest

by epanouiii



Series: the husband [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Murder Husbands, Short One Shot, these two are everything istfg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-23 09:40:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23409532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epanouiii/pseuds/epanouiii
Summary: Harry likes to play games.Tom obliges him.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle
Series: the husband [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751488
Comments: 25
Kudos: 327





	husband dearest

**Author's Note:**

> this was pretty rushed and I basically wrote it to get my creative juices~~ flowing. but I hope you enjoy my little bby for what it is
> 
> tw in end notes

Tom’s phone rang, and, sighing, he picked it up without reading the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Tom!”

“Hello, Harry. Why are you calling me?” He asked. “I’m at the office and I’m working on a—“

“—Very important project, yeah, I know. But I _really_ needed to tell you something.”

His interest piqued, Ton put down the sketching pencil and adjusted his phone. Harry got into a mood sometimes, and Tom knew he needed to pay full-attention to what he was hearing. His husband could be a slippery eel when Tom wasn’t looking for it.

After a short period of silence, Tom spoke into the phone.

“Do I need to guess what it is?”

“Yes,” Harry said, giggling. Beyond Harry’s voice, Tom could hear the rustling of trees.

“Are you on a midnight stroll?”

“Nope.”

“Are you on a rendezvous with another person?”

“No,” Harry said, dragging out the ‘o,’ and Tom could practically see the smile on his face. It made his lips drag up in a small, almost unnoticeable way.

“I suppose I’m out of ideas, then. What are you doing?”

“Well, Tom, since you asked so nicely, I’ll tell you.”

There was another pause. Tom sighed silently.

“Are you going to tell me or…?”

“Yes, yes, let me just—on second thought, I think it’d be better if I showed you.”

And with that, the line went dead. Tom pulled his phone back from his ear and regarded it with a raised brow, his reflection glaring back at him.

He really didn’t have time for Harry’s little games. While he usually enjoyed them, Harry’s timing was less than ideal. He had been going over design plans for the apartment complex in his office when he had gotten the call.

A message popped up on the screen, where, at Harry’s behest, lay a picture of them on their most-recent holiday to Japan. They were dressed in kimonos, Harry’s white-and-green and Tom’s blue-and-white, posed in front of a large, blooming blossom tree. There were pale, pink blossoms dotted in his husband’s hair. Despite not wanting to take it at the time, Tom could admit that they did make a very handsome couple.

The message was a request for a video chat from ‘ur heart<<<3’. Tom clicked on it and waited for it to load.

When the video began playing, Tom’s impatient sighs ringing our through the empty office, a shaky portrait of a forest met his eyes.

“Hey, Tom!” Harry’s voice rang out from behind the camera, his tone cheerful, and Tom noticed a hand in the top right corner of the screen waving slightly. “I’m sorry for taking you away from your work, but I thought that you needed to see this. You see, while you were away all day, Malfoy came over. I didn’t know why, but after he started pleading, I let him inside. He was acting weird and tripping over himself and for some reason he reminded me of a ferret—I’m getting off track. Basically, he came to see me and asked if I would leave you for him.”

Tom, at that point, had been appropriately ‘mhmm’ing and ‘aha’ing, like a parent hearing their child recount their day at kindergarten. The next sound to come out of his mouth got caught in his throat.

It took a moment for Tom to process Harry’s words, but when he did, he felt like leaving the office immediately for a little _chat_ with his employee. _How dare that little wretch dare come into his home and attempt to—_

“Don’t worry! I didn’t say yes, obviously.” Harry was laughing. “He kept trying to persuade me, saying that you weren’t good for me and blah blah blah. I thought he was joking at first, you know, and when I told him that, he got even more panicky. It was pretty funny to watch.”

Before he could say anything else, Tom said coldly:

“Harry. Get to the point.”

“Oh, right. My bad. So, uh, yeah. He kept trying to make me go with him and when he didn’t listen after I told him no for the first three times, I killed him.”

Harry turned the camera from where it had been facing a small spattering of oak trees to a semi-deep hole in the ground. Next to the hole, lay a body with familiar blond hair, rips in its once-fine shirt and blood streaking its face. Stabbing, it seemed.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. He was being annoying and I thought that he might’ve tried to kidnap me, so it seemed to be for the best. Sorry you lost a guy, though. But there’s always his son. I heard Scorpius just turned eight the other day! I’ll have to offer him my congratulations.”

“Right. Well, thank you for telling in advance. I’ll be there as soon as I’m done with this last section. Love you.”

“Love you, too!”

Just before Tom hung up, high on hearing his husband say those three words, Harry spoke again. 

“Can you bring some bleach with you on your way home? We ran out from the last time.”

“Of course, darling. Love you. See you in a bit.”

He hung up, slightly confused.

_When was the last time he…_

_Ah, yes. Ginevra._

**Author's Note:**

> tw: non-graphic murder, slight gore, blood, allusion to murder, slightly unhealthy relationship dynamics
> 
> my [tumblr](https://epanouiii.tumblr.com) if u want


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